Parenting 101: Don’t Get Too Emotional
If only parents were given a lecture before getting pregnant about the many things that will come their way while raising a child, things would have been a little easier. Unfortunately, that day will come, the day when a son or a daughter begins to think on their own and disregard the rules.
The time will come when that little baby that you have nurtured and cuddled grows into a determined preschooler who stands in front of your and screams on top of her lungs demanding for desert. Seeing your child in such a scandalous situation, you begin to evaluate your worth as a parent and think back what possible things you could have done wrong to receive so much hatred. But although what you see is possibly real, it is not really hatred.
When your child yells at you and tells you something out of line, it can be a real challenge not to take things personally and to keep your emotions at bay. When your child does something unacceptable, it is nearly impossible not to get your feelings hurt.
It might not be as soothing, but when your child feels confident enough to go against your rules and tries to be rebellious, it is actually a good sign. When your child breaks your heart intentionally and still feels confident that you are going to love him still afterwards, it indicates a developmental milestone. However, it does not mean that you should tolerate it.
Every parent has his and her own set of standards to discipline and acceptable behaviors, so you have to get to work and recognize what is proper behavior to you.
When your child tells you, “I don’t love you anymore!” across the room at a very firm tone, do not get too emotional. Do not take it personally because perhaps, what he is trying to say is “I want to eat right now or I’m tired or I’m bored” and so on.
Instead of making a big thing out of it, why don’t you try some active listening and communication techniques to help you discover what your child truly feels and at the same time, letting him know that what he is doing is wrong. Do not negate what your child said or you will aggravate the situation into a power struggle.
Next time your kid tells you something rude, tell him “I understand that you are angry because I won’t let you watch TV right now, but I will not change my mind if your keep shouting at me like that.” Letting your child know firmly and calmly what is right from wrong will help you feel in control and reinforce your child’s limits, without getting too emotional about it.
Searching for parenting advice? We highly recommend The Total Transformation Program for parents dealing with Kids Who Engage in Back Talk. Check on the link for more information.
August 28, 2010 | Posted by Katherine Thompson
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