Kids have no idea how to handle or preempt their bad behavior simply because they do not know how what the triggers of their bad behaviors are. As a parent, it is your job to help your kids identify these triggers the right way.

Kids are prone to pulling their parents back to that incident and making them feel that they should be guilty. This is where parents must take control of the situation.

One of the most effective ways to help a child know the triggers of his bad behavior is to ask him about his previous outbursts. For example, you can ask your child, “Do you remember the last time you pulled your baby sister’s hair? It was the time she borrowed your crayons.” Or, you can try saying, “Do you remember that Friday night when I asked if you were out drinking with your friends? That was the last time you lied.”

It is very important that you remind your child how a certain misbehavior transpired. Aside from that, you should also let your child understand that sometimes it is possible that it is his perceptions that are wrong. Explain this to your child by saying something like, “Honey, I know you think it is not fair that we do not allow you to go out and drink with your friends. But understand that we are not trying to take away your friends. We just want you to hang out and have fun without destroying your health.”

The important thing in this scenario is for the child to express his views, his ideas and whatever he thinks is happening. As a parent, you must also make your kid understand that perceptions of what’s happening may differ in every person and it may be that what one person thinks of what happened is not what really happened.

Telling your child these things could lead to negative reactions, so make sure that you keep your focus all the time. Usually, this is where the tantrums and the crying comes in. Your child will make you feel guilty, but do not give in.

Do not let your child get to you. No matter how deep the guilt trip your child has put upon you, stand firm with your decisions and with what you think is best for your child.

Author Katherine Thompson loves to share about teenagers with defiant attitude. Learn how to be a more effective parent by visiting her website about problem children.

If only parents were given a lecture before getting pregnant about the many things that will come their way while raising a child, things would have been a little easier. Unfortunately, that day will come, the day when a son or a daughter begins to think on their own and disregard the rules.

The time will come when that little baby that you have nurtured and cuddled grows into a determined preschooler who stands in front of your and screams on top of her lungs demanding for desert. Seeing your child in such a scandalous situation, you begin to evaluate your worth as a parent and think back what possible things you could have done wrong to receive so much hatred. But although what you see is possibly real, it is not really hatred.

When your child yells at you and tells you something out of line, it can be a real challenge not to take things personally and to keep your emotions at bay. When your child does something unacceptable, it is nearly impossible not to get your feelings hurt.

It might not be as soothing, but when your child feels confident enough to go against your rules and tries to be rebellious, it is actually a good sign. When your child breaks your heart intentionally and still feels confident that you are going to love him still afterwards, it indicates a developmental milestone. However, it does not mean that you should tolerate it.

Every parent has his and her own set of standards to discipline and acceptable behaviors, so you have to get to work and recognize what is proper behavior to you.

When your child tells you, “I don’t love you anymore!” across the room at a very firm tone, do not get too emotional. Do not take it personally because perhaps, what he is trying to say is “I want to eat right now or I’m tired or I’m bored” and so on.

Instead of making a big thing out of it, why don’t you try some active listening and communication techniques to help you discover what your child truly feels and at the same time, letting him know that what he is doing is wrong. Do not negate what your child said or you will aggravate the situation into a power struggle.

Next time your kid tells you something rude, tell him “I understand that you are angry because I won’t let you watch TV right now, but I will not change my mind if your keep shouting at me like that.” Letting your child know firmly and calmly what is right from wrong will help you feel in control and reinforce your child’s limits, without getting too emotional about it.

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